Part 2/2: ‘When the Body Says No’ – Stress, Emotional Repression and The 7 A’s of Healing
Part 1/2 can be read here.
In today’s article, I’ll be exploring two major risk factors for disease from a psychosomatic perspective. The second half of this article outlines Dr. Gabor Maté’s strategies to promote healing. This book focuses on how stress and emotional repression are linked to chronic disease, but I believe the value of this knowledge can extend into all types of bodily pain. My intention is to spread awareness and knowledge surrounding mental and physical health, but please consult with a mental health professional for any problems you don’t feel equipped to deal with.
The Stress Experience
Stress is ubiquitous, especially in our modern world. Our triggers can manifest from emotional, mental or physical factors. It’s also important to consider that stress can originate from external or internal sources. Examples of externally generated stresses include the loss of a loved one, being bullied in childhood and injury from overtraining. Internally generated stresses are often invisible to others and are equally damaging to our mental and physical health. Examples of internal stresses could be feelings of inadequacy, emotional disconnection and perfectionism.
There are three parts to the stress experience. First, a stressor occurs, which is an event that is interpreted as threatening. As previously mentioned, this can stem from emotional, mental or physical factors that are either internal or external. Next, our nervous system and mind interprets the experience and determines the appropriate response. Finally, the stress response occurs, which is the physiological cascade and behavioral adjustments intended to buffer the original stressor. There is no uniform relationship between a stressor and the stress response because each individual is unique. The stress experience is based on our history, psycho-emotional profile and physical health.
Disease occurs when an acute or chronic stress exceeds our emotional, mental or physical capacity. In other words, stress becomes a problem when it is beyond what we can handle. Stress can be helpful in the short term as long as we have the means to deal with it. In this circumstance, we can reframe stress as our bodies’ way of becoming energized to meet upcoming demands. This is a short term fix, however, as chronic stress will cause an inevitable decline into entropy.
Emotional Repression
Similar to stress, prolonged emotional repression can wreak havoc on our health. Instead of processing emotions as they arise, it’s much easier to avoid them or withdraw from relationships. This can occur consciously or unconsciously and is a short term solution with long term consequences. The outcome is that we become anaesthetized to our emotions at the expense of our own well-being. We no longer sense what is happening in our head, heart and gut and therefore cannot act in ways to protect ourselves from the outside world. Pain, disease and mental illness are signals to pay attention to our inner world.
The following is a list of qualities associated with chronic diseases like Rheumatoid Arthritis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Cancer, Alzheimer’s and Lou Gehrig's disease. Dr. Maté argues that many of these adult behaviors originate from childhood experiences.
Childhood experiences – emotional deprivation, inability to feel or express anger, inability to deal with or cope with difficult situations, feelings of inadequacy, lack of psychological independence, overwhelming need for love and affection (i.e. hyper-dependence), environmentally conditioned helplessness, childhood trauma (ex. early loss or separation, sexual abuse), lack of physical touch, direct/indirect generational trauma
Adult characteristics – chronic exclusion of negative feelings, habitual denial of thoughts, self-consciousness, compulsive optimism (i.e. façade of niceness with deep anguish underneath), poorly differentiated sense of self (i.e. don’t “know themselves”), career pursuits at the expense of own health, selfless at the expense of own health, extreme stoicism (i.e. overly brave at the extent of own health), unhealthy coping strategies, lack of social support or human connection, negative relationship with parents, rigidly competent behavior (i.e. inability to ask for or receive help)
It’s important to note that we cannot blame the individual for any of these circumstances. Each of us are situated in a multi-generational family system and are also part of a larger socio-cultural landscape. The importance of this inner work is to shine light on the depths of our psyche and bring unresolved conflict to the surface. We can encourage healing if we bring self-awareness to our internal state and have the vulnerability to open up. Healing is derived from the word ‘whole’ – “to heal is to become whole”. By reclaiming what was lost, we can move towards our potential as fully integrated human beings.
The Seven A’s of Healing
The 7 A’s of healing is a framework that fosters the development of emotional intelligence. By developing these traits and encouraging environments that are conducive to growth, we will be able to feel our emotions fully and express them in an authentic, honest way.
Acceptance
Acceptance is “the willingness to recognize and accept how things are” without resistance. It is about having the courage to explore our shadow without allowing it to define us. Acceptance challenges the common thought that we aren’t enough.
Awareness
Awareness is the capacity for “emotional truth-recognition”. It is the ability to see ourselves accurately in an unbiased manner. “To develop awareness… we must pay constant attention to our internal states and learn to trust these internal perceptions more than what words – our own or anyone else’s – convey”. Awareness involves learning how to trust your gut while being in touch with the hearts intuition. The logical mind plays an important role, but we need to listen to our body first.
Anger
Both the overt expression of anger and repression of such feelings is harmful. Anger is a natural emotion that is part of the human experience. By learning how to feel anger and express it in a regulated and healthy manner, we are able to prevent pent-up emotion. Anger is a teacher, much like pain – it provides useful information if we have the wisdom to explore it.
Autonomy
Autonomy is about developing an internal locus of control. If we can assert ourselves openly based on what we value and want in our lives, we will have autonomy. “We experience life through our bodies. If we are not able to articulate our life experience, our bodies speak what our minds and mouths cannot”. Whatever undermines our freedom for genuine choice will be perceived as stressful.
Attachment
Attachment involves our ability to connect with ourselves and others in a healthy way. Seeking deep and authentic connection on a physical, emotional and spiritual level will render us whole. Attachment allows us to recognize the symbiosis of nature.
Assertion
Assertion is a declaration that we are who we are and that we are enough. “It demands neither acting nor reacting. It is being, irrespective of action”. Assertion is an expression of unconditional self-love.
Affirmation
“When we affirm, we make a positive statement; we move toward something of value”. As individuals, affirmation is about surrendering to our creative potential – we need to honor the urge to create. By doing so, we heal ourselves and the world. The second part of affirmation is about connecting with something larger than ourselves. We do not come into this world, we come out of it. In other words, we are not separate entities being born out of something, we are part of what makes that something whole. In the purest sense, we need each other in order to give meaning to our authentic self. This is the symbiotic relationship of oneness.
Thank you for sticking with me until the end! I hope that I did this book justice and would highly recommend reading it if any of the topics were of interest. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below and subscribe to my newsletter for future updates!
References:
1. Chek P. Being True to Yourself. Lecture; 2016.
2. Maté G. When The Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. Toronto: CNIB; 2004.
3. Watts A. The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. Vintage; 1989.